At some point during the planning process, most brides struggle with getting their fiancé to get involved in the wedding activities. Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes this is great! You, as the bride, can choose whatever you want. At the same time, this can be extremely frustrating because 1) you’d like a second opinion or 2) you realize this is BOTH of your wedding day, and you want it to be a joint decision.

What I have found is that a lot of men during the planning either 1) find everything completely overwhelming and shut out the idea of helping or 2) share their opinion and are often told no and then result to shutting down. As you can see, most of the time the end result is the male fiancé shutting down to the idea of assisting in planning. If you’re currently experience this struggle or you worry that you’ll soon cross this path, here are a few suggestions I’d like to make.

1. Pick what you’re going to plan together

   Sit down and talk things through about the wedding planning. What is something that the two of you are both really excited about (reception, photos, ceremony, etc…). If you are both excited about one part it will be easier to plan it. You won’t have to try to excite the other person, they will already be attentive in listening and planning. Decide which items you are going to tag team on and stick with it.

2. Pick what you’re going to plan a part 

   Now, planning a wedding is like running a marathon. You, as the bride, cannot do it all on your own. You might go crazy! I highly suggest asking for assistance from family and friends, but I really hope that you will ask your man to assist in the planning. If there is one part that is extremely important to you, and not as much to him, you take it! If he seems drawn to something, let him plan it! It doesn’t mean that each person will make the final call and decision, but they can lead the planning of this item. For example, I really love decorating, and I really wanted to plan most of the decorative aspects of our big day. Hayden took charge of planning our entire honeymoon. We still consulted each other and discussed different items, but we individually lead each one.

3. Listen to each other’s opinions

   If you want to plan something together than you’ll need to make sure that you both listen to each other opinions. If you’re only listening to his opinions, or he’s only listening to yours, then you’re not really working together. When you open up the conversation for planning be courteous to each other. Don’t let wedding planning start a fight between the two of you. Listen to each other’s ideas and try to understand where they are coming from.

4. Give and you take

   Sharing and compromising is definitely a big part of being married. You have to sacrifice for each other sometimes to make things work. This is the same case when you’re deciding on different items for your wedding day. Hayden desired to have a lot of our family and friend at our wedding, and this meant that some of the items I wanted had to be traded out to afford this. (Just for a reference, we had over 450 people join us in celebrating our wedding.) I dreamed of having a bridal gown that was beautifully made, and this resulted in having to let go of a few items Hayden wanted.

5. Express your interest!

   If you’re frustrated that your fiancé is not showing interest in planning, make sure that you have expressed your feelings. Pull your fiancé aside and mention how it is a desire of yours for them to show interest and be attentive. Perhaps, they haven’t realized how much it means to you.

Wedding planning can be stressful and crazy, but friends, I’m sure you can work your way through it to a wonderful and blissful wedding day! Happy planning!

xoxo,